[ Giles spends a long time staring at his hands, collecting his thoughts before he speaks. Flexing his fingers slowly and watching the way skin creases and stretches over his knuckles. ]
Because of what I am, mental strain can take a heavier toll than it might for others. I have... Lapses. I find myself places with no memory of how I got there, I go to do something and find it already done. I forget myself, I forget Oswald, and I forget others too. And on some rare but notable occasions, I believe myself to be back in the very place that formed me into this.
If I did not have Oswald to check on me regularly, to bring me back to the present, I fear I might forever lose what grip I have left on reality. Even now, when I feel whole and grounded, I cannot be certain that we have not already had this conversation, or that the events in question did not happen months or years ago rather than the few weeks I remember.
[ He looks up, finally meeting Sharky's eyes now the hardest part of the explanation, the part where he admits to his weakness, is done with. ]
To be clear, I do not tell you this to worry you, or make you feel bad for me, I will heal with time. It is an unfortunate but relatively well documented condition among my people. I am telling you because I do still care about you, Sharky, and I want you to understand what's happening if I seem disoriented, or if I speak of things that never happened or are months in the past as if they were only recent.
[ and then, softer ] Or if it appears I do not recognise you at all.
no subject
Because of what I am, mental strain can take a heavier toll than it might for others. I have... Lapses. I find myself places with no memory of how I got there, I go to do something and find it already done. I forget myself, I forget Oswald, and I forget others too. And on some rare but notable occasions, I believe myself to be back in the very place that formed me into this.
If I did not have Oswald to check on me regularly, to bring me back to the present, I fear I might forever lose what grip I have left on reality. Even now, when I feel whole and grounded, I cannot be certain that we have not already had this conversation, or that the events in question did not happen months or years ago rather than the few weeks I remember.
[ He looks up, finally meeting Sharky's eyes now the hardest part of the explanation, the part where he admits to his weakness, is done with. ]
To be clear, I do not tell you this to worry you, or make you feel bad for me, I will heal with time. It is an unfortunate but relatively well documented condition among my people. I am telling you because I do still care about you, Sharky, and I want you to understand what's happening if I seem disoriented, or if I speak of things that never happened or are months in the past as if they were only recent.
[ and then, softer ] Or if it appears I do not recognise you at all.